The Church of M.U.M. (HARUHI'S FALSE RELIGION IS EVIL: REPENT)

Spoilers for Puella Magi Madoka Magica, Revolutionary Girl Utena, and Mawaru Penguindrum

 Today, I wanted to take a moment to praise not only our lord and savior Madoka, but also her wise and wonderful profits, Utena and Momoka. Any time I've hit a hard spot in my life, I've always been able to turn to these three and know that I am loved, for I have a deep and powerful relationship with my God and my religion. Any time that I am temped by the evils of Kyubey, Homura, Akio, or Haruhi's false and evil religion, I simply think of the endless love that Madoka, Utena, and Momoka feel for me, and the endless sacrifices that they have made for my sake.

And now, I wish to share the love of these pink-haired magical girls with you.

First, however, I would like to correct some of those poor stay lambs who have fallen into the hands of the God Haruhi. Haruhi Suzumiya is selfish. Haruhi cares only for herself and not for your fears and struggles, and according to her religion, all evils in this world can be traced back to her and her selfish, evil desires. Haruhi is cruel and perverse, and there are other, more benevolent Gods to follow. It is not too late for you to repent. There is only one true God.

Our first and foremost figure of prominence in the church of M.U.M. (Madoka Utena Momoka) is, of course, the loving Madoka. Madoka fought the evils of Kyubey and his teachings before eventually sacrificing herself and her mortal body to become God and save all magical girls from a fate far worse than death. She till watches over us and loves us all, and she continues to protect us from the evils of the incubator Kyubey and the fallen angel Homura, who rebelled against Madoka's perfect world to threaten our peace and safety. Blessed be Madoka.

Utena was our first true profit for in the Church of M.U.M., though it took nearly her entire short life to attain the sacred role of messenger of Madoka. Utena, too, was once wrapped in self-centered goals and wants, but eventually turned into a magical girl of pure selflessness and love when she died for the sins of her girlfriend, Anthy Himemiya, and saved us from the evils of the fallen angel Akio , who wished to attain the powers of Madoka to become a God, himself. Blessed be Utena.

 Utena then passed on her legacy into the heart and soul of Momoka Oginome, who kept true to her faithful mission of love for the entirety of her unfortunately much shorter life. When she failed to bring the spirit of Akio, now known as Sanetoshi, back to the loving path of Madoka, she devoted her life to protecting those around her with the powers that Madoka bestowed upon her in the form of a diary. Blessed be Momoka.

So, as you may now see, these three have affected our lives in a countless number of ways that we may have never noticed before!

Madoka saved us despite how cruel a world she lived in, and she continues to do so!

"Though this world is filled with repeated sorrow and hatred, and it isn't worth saving, it's still a place that She wanted to protect. I remember it. I will never forget." (Akemi:13)

Utena, despite living in a world of those selfish enough to forget her great sacrifice, would never have regretted her choice!

"She isn't gone at all. She's merely vanished from your world. ... This time it's my turn to go. No matter where you are, I swear I'll find you. Wait for me..." (Himemiya:38)

And Momoka showed love to everyone, whether they wanted it or not!

"Even if fate steals everything from them, the loved children will definitely find happiness. We were left behind in this world to do just that." (Tokikago:24)

So, you see, Madoka and her disciples really do love us, and they sacrifice so much for us! Do not fall into the clutches of the Church of Haruhi, lest you lose your way, and do not heed the words of the fallen angels Homura and Akio, for they already have lost themselves. The Church of M.U.M. accepts and loves all, and should you have any questions about our faith, I will be more than happy to answer.

Blessed be Madoka.

Blessed be Utena.

Blessed be Momoka.